Fact. We all know that it is easy to get overly thrilled and excited when you’re a soon-to-be-parent. Every waking moment seems like an excellent reason to celebrate. It’s expected, especially during a toddler’s one-year-old milestone going through a lot of firsts. But this reveal party trend happens before they’re out in the world of conformity.
Many expectant parents gather friends and family, sharing the thrill of announcing whether it’s a baby boy or a baby girl. Not only are the announcements getting outlandish, but critics and studies say that this gender construct reinforces stereotypes to this over-celebration of life to an unborn child.
Jenna Karvunidis, the woman who popularized gender-reveal parties, a decade later, ironically expressed deep regret that the themed-event she “invented” has unfolded into something that limits a child’s self-discovery.
“Assigning focus on gender at birth leaves out so much of their potential and talents that have nothing to do with what’s between their legs.” Karvunidis posted on her Facebook account, denouncing the concept after her 10-year-old came out as nonbinary.
Forward to 2020, and the trend didn’t seem to fade and has continued to grow and gain popularity, especially in the competitive space that is the internet. The influx of people throwing over-the-top gender-reveals, in an attempt to raise the ante, has resulted in numerous incident reports of wildfires and at least one person killed—a deadly stunt.
What started as balloons, confetti, and cutting into a cake filled with colored-icing took an odd turn to fire hazard contraptions and homemade pipe bombs packed with explosives for colored smoke—taking a dark shift from pink or blue to the smoke-filled sky in orange. More and more, they are turning this colorful celebration at the cost of their safety.
To condemn these over-the-top displays, as more gender reveal parties have led to property damages, Karvunidis pleaded on her page, “Stop it. Stop having these stupid parties… For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid’s penis. No one cares but you,” she wrote.
Dangers aside, there’s more of this that makes it problematic. Let’s start with the name. Let it be known that sex is not gender. While sex can be determined biologically, you cannot presume how your unborn child will identify oneself.
Carly Gieseler, in his gender study, breaks it down: “It allows adults to recuperate what they have learned from their gendered constructions, re-inscribing expectations and assumptions onto the unwritten body of the unborn and propelling these ideals into the digital, social, public world.”
However, calling it a “sex reveal party” just doesn’t sound appropriate nor does “genitals party”. But is it essential to enforce gender roles onto children even before they start to breathe?
True, we now live in a world where we should just allow people to have fun. And while these parties are well-intentioned, we have to be careful about some underlying factors that could hurt not only the people and things around you but your child’s mental health in the future as well. Would you want your child carrying the idea that the person their parents celebrated isn’t the same person they initially wanted? Let kids be kids and allow them the freedom to come to terms with whatever they might identify as.